How your voice impacts your life
The first thing we do when we enter this world after 9 months in our mother's womb is to make sound. And it any a small whisper, it’s the loudest roar! But as we grow up many of us learn to keep quiet, lower our voice, which was usually just an expression of our excitement, true emotions or needs. We have learned to adjust to the expectations and rules of society and with that to be fearful of expressing ourselves authentically because we learned as children that what we wanted to express wasn’t always approved or appropriate.
In a beautifully Indian movie called Dear Zindagi, a young girl who feels a lot of anger goes to see a therapist, who tells her: “If you can’t cry out freely, you can’t laugh out freely.”
It’s so strange how it is a common thing that when we cry we say: “I’m sorry”. As if it’s bad manners to cry. Why do we do that? we don’t say sorry when we laugh out loud, do we? But it seems like tears isn’t really allowed, only behind closed doors, it’s almost like we should feel ashamed to cry, keep it to ourselves, don’t bother other people with our tears, especially when we are adults. The truth is the reason why people can feel overwhelmed by the feelings of other, is that they feel overwhelmed by their own feelings.
“If you are okay to cry or laugh freely, you will also be okay to give space for others to cry or laugh freely.”
Crying is healthy, it’s a great way to release tension and allow your body to relax and to express our deepest emotions. I even cry when I feel joy sometimes.
But if we haven’t had crying or laughing role models in our life, it can be hard to give ourselves permission to express our true emotions.
Repressed feelings can create physical symptoms in different parts of the body:
Unresolved emotions can trigger stress and affect your nervous system to be in a fight or flight response, which can create unbalance in your digestive system.
Another common symptom from bottled up emotions can be head and neck pain, as the stress of holding back causes the jaw muscles to tighten.
It can even affect your heart. If you hold back feelings like shame or sadness they can end up explode in the form of anger. There is nothing wrong with anger, it’s a resourceful feeling that can help us to know when to set up boundaries in our life or push us to take action on our dreams. But if the anger comes from years of build up emotions it can come out in an explosive and aggressive way, which creates a rush of stress hormones that can affect your
Also if we hold back our emotions we can create distance and distrust in our relationships. We simply don’t show our whole and real selves, if we don’t express our values, beliefs, limits, true needs and desires. If you express yourself openly and honestly you will find that you will gain much deeper and more fulfilling relations.
Another benefit is also we will feel more whole and happy as human beings on this planet, when we allow ourselves to live out fully. We will feel more free, relaxed and be a more fun and connected with ourselves.
So, I think we’ve established that expression of all emotions is awesome for our health, relations and overall wellness.
Through working with people and their voice, I’ve experienced that when people start to get in contact with their voice, in a way that has nothing to do with performance, perfection or creative or auditive quality, they start to subconsciously feel more comfortable speaking up for themselves and expressing their truth. To become familiar with the sound of your voice, it’s abilities and qualities makes it less risky to use it in different situations in your life.
If you tend to feel powerless, and insecure or confused working with the free expression of your voice can help you a great deal! You regain your power by expressing your voice, not by withholding it!
It can be good to be playful with your voice, just have fun with making different sounds, just like a child does. See what happens, playing with all the quirks, twists, glamour, frogs and everything - to get to know your voice and be brave enough to share it with the others.
Freeing your voice is so important! It doesn’t have to be in a big fancy speech it can be done through making sound. With a curious and playful approach you can release perfectionism and critical thoughts that hold you back from showing who you truly are.
Start today! Sing your favorite song, go to the ocean and yell out loud, watch a comedy and allow yourself to really laugh loud, or a sad movie and cry let the tears poor and see how great you feel afterwards. It’s mostly when we resist something that it takes control of us and feel uncomfortable. If we just allow what is, what ever emotion is flowding through us and express it with ease and calm it is much easier.